Sick at the stomach (Rin's fault)
by C for Do Dur
Summary: Sure, Haruka couldn't blame Rin for his sickness. But Rin was guilty of a lot of things.


_Free!_ does not belong to me. Neither does _High Speed!_

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**_Sick at the stomach (Rin's fault)_**

.

It still felt strange.

Being able to spend eternal days, never-ending hours with Rin; swimming with him, hearing his loud laughter so often that it had become sort of an habit (and yet Haruka didn't get used to that delightful sound)... Just talking to him, taking deep breaths in order not to let him get under his skin (with little success, mind you)...

All of it made Haruka both happy and terrified.

He had already had Rin with him once, and he had lost him. It would be foolish from him to take Rin for granted again.

Haruka wasn't a person who liked thinking too much, but it didn't take much effort for him to realize that there was no way he could think about Rin going away without panicking.

To be honest, it wasn't even as much as a thought. Actually, it was pretty simple: a little idea that made his stomach twitch painfully, that got his whole being to scream _nononono _like a stubborn child, that tortured Haruka by reminding him that time when he had seen Rin running away without being able to do anything about it.

It was a shockingly plain feeling.

Haruka did not want Rin to leave him. Not again.

Maybe that was one of the reasons why he hadn't told his friend anything about that other _thing _that had him so confused, that jumped happily in his insides every time Rin hung on his shoulders. That little beast that couldn't stop him from frowning and whisper an irritated "You are heavy" to his friend, but never would allow him to say "Get off".

Haruka knew it was a feeling, too, but not as simple as his fear of losing Rin. It was somehow related to their friendship, but it was strange and had nothing to do with what he felt about Nagisa or Rei, not even Makoto. Makoto was Haruka's best friend and the most trustworthy person he had ever known, but Haruka loved him the way he would have loved his brother if his parents would have given him one.

Rin was _different_. He had always been. And Haruka didn't know exactly when it had started, just like he didn't know either how to call it, but it sure as hell wasn't just friendship or rivalry. Rin made him feel something he had never felt before.

Haruka also knew something else.

It was all Rin's fault.

And yet Haruka couldn't bring himself to be mad at him, even when Rin was the only reason he was looking at the ceiling instead of sleeping although he was tired, confused and probably sick.

.

"Oi, Haru! Haven't your parents taught you what clocks are for?"

Rin's loud voice echoed in his friend's house's hall. The boy hoped for a response, but three minutes of waiting made it clear that Haruka didn't seem to be very talkative today.

Sighing, Rin took his shoes off and stepped inside the house. His first instict was looking for Haruka in the bathroom, but it was proven wrong when he found nobody there. Frowning, Rin ran upstairs and didn't stop until he got inside his friend's bedroom.

Haruka lay on his bed, buried under three or four layers of blankets and apparently asleep. Sighing again and fighting the sudden desire of letting him rest, Rin got closer to the bed.

It was obvious, once he could see Haruka's face, that his sleep wasn't peaceful. His eyes were tighly shut, and his lips moved without emiting more sounds than some quiet unintelligible whispers.

Rin reached out an arm to grab Haruka's shoulder and shook it until Haruka awakened, which took nearly a whole minute. When his friend opened his eyes, he raised his arms and pushed Rin's hand away. For a second, he looked lost and -Rin raised his brows at the realization- scared.

Then, his gaze met Rin's.

"Why are you here?" he asked, and his tone seemed more straightforward than usual.

Rin opened and closed his mouth several times, suddenly not knowing what to say.

"I-I..." he babbled. Then, he cleared his throat while thinking. "You were supposed to meet up with us one hour ago, you idiot!"

Much to Rin's astonishment, Haruka didn't reply. Instead, he got up and walked to the closet dragging his feet.

"I didn't hear the alarm clock," he said abruptly.

Wondering what on earth was happening with Haruka today, Rin waited for him in the hall. His friend got ready soon and walked outside the house with him, strangely quiet.

Rin was honestly starting to worry. It wasn't unusual for Haruka not to talk a lot, but having that distant look in his eyes for so long, and, most of all, not retorting to Rin's attempts to irritate him, wasn't normal at all. It was as if Haruka's mind hadn't awakened with his body, like he kept trapped in his own mind.

"Why did you come?" Haruka asked at some point.

They were walking next to the beach, going to the coffee shop Gou, Rei and Nagisa were waiting for them. Makoto was spending the weekend in Osaka with his family.

Rin thought of a sharp answer, but then he realized that Haruka wasn't asking _why _he had come to his house; what he wanted to know was why it had been _Rin_. He looked at the sea, wondering if he could swim away from the question in the November's cold water.

"I was late, too, so Gou told me to come by and pick you up," he explained. He felt his cheeks going red and cursed himself for not being a better liar.

However, Haruka didn't notice it. He kept looking at his feet while walking.

"Oi," Rin started, feeling a (not-so) little bit hurt when his friend didn't look at him. "Did you have a nightmare or something? You're acting weird. More than usual, I mean."

Haruka pursued his lips visibly.

"Something like that," he muttered.

Rin frowned.

"Haru, are you-?"

"I'm fine."

Rin bit his tongue to stop himself from saying that the last time Haruka had stated he was fine when he wasn't, he had ended up nearly drowning in the river. Neither of them spoke up until they met their friends in the coffee shop. Haruka didn't say anything even then.

.

Haruka had known he was sick before Rin had arrived to his house.

He hadn't been able to eat anything since last afternoon, and when he had tried to have some tea before going to sleep he had thrown it up. Haruka wanted to swim; he knew he would feel better in the water, but it was too cold outside and the pool in Samezuka was being cleaned up.

It didn't help, of course, that Nagisa wanted to shove the juice he'd ordered down his throat. The blond asked too often why Haruka was just looking at his drink, forcing him to make up excuses in order to avoid the others focusing in him.

He managed to fool almost everyone.

Rin didn't seem to buy his lies, though, and Haruka could feel his eyes on him like they burned his skin.

"Haru."

The boy gritted his teeth and looked right into Rin's concerned expression.

"What," he snapped. He regretted his tone almost inmediately. Rin could be guilty of turning Haruka's life upside down twice and confuse him, but it wasn't his fault Haruka was sick. However, he didn't seem hurt.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

Rin could be the hugest pain in the ass Haruka had ever known and have an infinite list of flaws, but he also was shockingly observant when he wanted to.

"Yes." He didn't want anyone's pity. Hell, he _hated_ pity.

"Liar."

Haruka looked away, and was even grateful when Nagisa spoke to him again:

"Haru-chan, don't you like orange?"

Well, _grateful _was exagerating a bit. Haruka just wanted to strangle his friend with Gou's headphones. He glared at his untouched juice and tried to ignore the nausea he felt towards the idea of drinking it. Trying to convince himself that he wouldn't throw up if he focused enough, he grabbed the glass and emptied it in less than two seconds.

He pobably was paler than usual, judging by Rin's face. However, despite the crazy moves his insides were doing, Haruka managed to stay calm.

.

Rin was _so done_ with Haruka.

He had asked his friend several times if he was alright, although he was two hundreds percent sure he wasn't, and yet his friend hadn't admitted even once he was sick. Furthermore, Haruka's replies had grown angrier and sharper, and by the time their friends decided to go home Rin was practically melting under Haruka's glare.

Rin didn't follow him when Haruka was left behind at some point. He was angry and worried and the stubborn five-year-old-minded he had for a friend probably would punch him in the face because he seemed wanting to die alone.

However, he stopped when he noticed Haruka hadn't caught up with them. Biting his lower lip, Rin walked back and found Haruka leaning against a lampost. There was a puddle of what seemed the orange juice he had drunk before next to him, and under the street lights Haruka was so pale that Rin's concern grew twice its size.

"I see how fine you are," he muttered. Haruka looked at him, first surprised and then angry. He walked towards Rin and stopped less than a meter away, glaring him with his blue eyes. Rin resisted the urge to step back.

"It's..." Haruka started defiantly, but his annoyance seemed to fly away. He let out a little sigh, more tired than irritated.

Rin found no resistance when he suggested walking Haruka to his house. He messaged Gou to make sure their friends didn't worry and offered Haruka his shoulder to lean on. A new glare told him that no illness would take away his friend's pride.

When they arrived at Haruka's house, however, it became pretty clear that he wouldn't take much care for himself; Haruka just wanted to sleep. Much to his displeasure, Rin made sure he put on his pajamas and brushed his teeth before he dropped in the bed. Even then, it was Rin who covered Haruka with the blankets.

"I'm leaving," Rin announced when Haruka closed his eyes, sitting a brief moment on the bed.

He didn't say anything, and Rin was about to stand up (because he _absolutely _hadn't spent the last five minutes watching how Haruka's pale face contrasted with the slight blush on his cheeks, how his dark hair sprawled onto the pillow) when he spoke:

"It's all your fault, you know."

"Uh?" For a brief moment, Rin was speechless. Just for a moment. "It's not my fault, _you water-freak weirdo_, that you are sick now. In fact, I bet you have catched something from eating mackerel or something, you ungrateful idiot."

"No," Haruka muttered. He opened his eyes, just a bit, and his hand moved until it grasped Rin's fingers. "It's your fault," he repeated.

Rin almost didn't hear him; he was looking at their interlaced fingers and trying not to go insane at all the question his mind was doing at once.

"Is it my fault that you're sick?" he managed to ask.

Haruka shook his head, closing his eyes again.

"It's your fault for everything else."

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_Author's notes_: It's my first time writing in English, so if you see I've written something wrong please tell me so I can get better.


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